The Alchemy Of Self: Plein Air Painting In The Mountains Of Colorado

Recently I met up with an old friend in Granby, Colorado and hiked The Devil’s Thumb trail, a 7.5 mile out and back with a 2247 foot climb over rough terrain, at a starting altitude of around 9000 feet.

I thought the day would be a fun proof of concept for my DIY plein air painting rig, to prove to myself that it’s a viable setup for a strenuous and difficult hike.

What it turned into was the most difficult hike I’ve ever done and a proof of concept for so much more.

The altitude, the heat, the weight of the gear, and the sheer elevation gain soon became major factors and about 2/3 up the ascent, in a wildfire scorched swath of dead timber and stifling heat, I was wobbly with fatigue and mentally battling through every second, focusing my entire attention on each movement of my legs, reaching deep for all the meditation techniques I’ve practiced over the years. I had many moments of doubt, some moments of frustration, a few of panic, and eventually a breakthrough of surrender to the goal.

My mind became laser focused on a single point: I will not disappoint my friend or myself, I will reach the top and make the painting I planned on. All of reality, all possibilities in the entire universe shrunk down to this one specific, inevitable, unquestionable outcome.

This is a conscious nonduality I’ve chased for many years making art—a flow state of pure freedom where the self is lost to the goal, and the art makes itself through the conduit of me. A willing surrender.

Having this realization that surrendering my self and all its pointless fears and doubts was actually the only way I was going to reach the summit, was when I felt in stunning realtime clarity the past few years of struggle, depression, grief, and rage become compressed and dissolved by a single breath and step at a time.

The future is a fantasy, the past is a memory; only this moment is real. And now this moment. This breath. This foot stepping forward. Now this one. Place foot on rock. Engage glutes, push. Breathe in, drag it deep into diaphragm, exhale slowly. Do it again. Complete this moment, survive to the next moment.

After many moments the summit was reached. I laid down in the grass, with a pounding migraine and nausea, and achieved my goal of making a painting. I was too tired to stand and never used my tripod, suddenly useless weight that I had unnecessarily trudged up the mountain. No worries, my rig is still a success, viable in extreme difficulty day hikes.

And most importantly, suffering was alchemized into achievement and the limitations of ego and self were transcended. The universe works as designed too.

View From Devil's Thumb, oil on panel, 8 x 10 inches, 2026